My own personal "jillian/bob" ...thats cray cray.

So I decided to cut back on some out-going monthly expenses and use the difference I saved to finally hire a personal trainer at my gym. I wanted to about a year ago when I really "stopped" losing weight. But the crappy economy directly hit my family for a few months. I really have high hopes for this. I'm thinking this is what will either help me reach my fitness goals or I'm just accepting myself "in a weight loss state" to just let it go and enjoy the health benefits of the "exercise" I'm doing and that be that. This time last year I realized I had gained about 10-15 pounds of what I had worked hard for 2 years to lose. This year I have tried lots of things. Starting with getting back on a regular schedule at the gym. I for the most part have kept this going. Then I decided to try p90x. I tried my best at it but I really am not a DVD person and it was crazy hard so I got discouraged. But I still went to the gym. There have been "bouts" where I've gotten off track but I've logged hours on the elliptical and treadmill this year. After p90x I got kinda fed up with "strength training" and focused more on cardio. I even got the wii balance board and wii fit for Christmas-fun but still boring. I bought Biggest Loser for wii (since I LOVE that show)....super boring. My last "fitness purchase" has been kettle bells. I haven't used them long enough to see awesome results but I could tell they were working. But I felt kinda like I do with "weights" in general-confused. I could tell my form while doing a swing was only good about half the time... etc. So I am at the point to where I know I need more "actual guidance" than from a book, DVD, etc. So I have a trainer and we start Tuesday. Crazy...cause I am totally scared of being held accountable but I know that I need it.

When I met with him I had the idea that if I wasn't immediately able to "get" something out of what we talked about I wasn't gonna do it. I've read Body for Life. I know a little bit about HIIT training. But by know means am I crazy smart reading the muscle mags and stuff. Some things he said were kinda elementary but when we were talking about how much one pound of muscle burns at rest (I know everyone has their opinions on that) it just hit me that if I had taken this year and tried to create and maintain muscle mass (like for real tired and not half ass) it probably would have exceeded the cardio calories I had burned in the end. And when I think about the times where I had rather given a kidney than to get on the elliptical for just 30 minutes.....I felt kinda bummed. Not saying I think I wasted time on cardio. I think its kept me from gaining weight and my cardiovascular health is much better. I consider myself "somewhat fit" because of it. I know that when Charlie played soccer the last time when he was 4 there would have been no way I could have physically "played/practiced" with him like I can now. So props to me for all that cardio. It really is worth it.

And this is past year and half I have wrecked my metabolism. I know I have. I haven't treated my body well when it comes to my diet. I have managed to gain and lose 10 pounds twice. From fasting to limiting myself to an insanely reduced number of calories to not really caring and getting "off the wagon" for weeks. But because of that I am very cautious of the amount of food I eat. I'm hoping that will help me. I tried to eat as healthy as I could but I have gone with too many processed foods. And I have never been able to go a week without sweet tea. I am a sugar addict. Mainly sweet tea is my vice but i also will grab a pack of fruit gushers instead of fruit. My choices have sucked.

So I'm not going into vast detail about the "diet" I've committed to. But my "crack" of sweet tea isn't included. Its high protein but not crazy Adkins. I am a bit scared that a bowl of Cracklin Oat Bran in the mornings isn't gonna happen anymore. Dairy is out and so is processed cereals. Lean Cuisines didn't make the cut either...I was getting sick of them anyway. I'm excited that I will get to eat though. I will actually be eating. Yay.

So just from the one meeting these are some things I've learned. To get me to the mid/lower range of a healthy BMI I need to lose 35 founds of fat. And that's what I figured. I'm not going to focus on a number on the scale anymore though. I'm just wanting to get my body fat percentage down. I want to gain 10 pounds of muscle of the next five months. By doing that I'll increase my metabolism and my cardio will actually be working more for actual fat loss. Not having on "ongoing strength training program" has probably caused my actual muscle to be depleted during cardio. That was kinda new to me. By doing cardio first before I'd do weight training I had been depleting my body's glycogen which it needed for my "strength training" (if you could call it that) I was doing after. Since the muscles didn't have that glycogen they actually would try to substitute and actually break themselves down to have the energy they needed. Not good. This gets confusing but basically that explains my lack of enthusiasm for weights of any kind after cardio. I was doing it backward. It I'd switched and done strength training before cardio it would have given me extra energy for the cardio....basically summed up from my perspective of not knowing anywhere near as much as i thought I did. Theres lots more I now "understand" but I'll blog that later.

So I start training Tuesday. I'm excited. I finally feel like instead of taking bits of information and trying to "make" them work...I'm doing things the way they are going to work. I think the point that "point" after weight loss where you either go to the next level or go back at some point to the "dark side" and not care and end up gaining weight back in the end. SPIRIT FINGERS!!!!